Love Is Overcoming Shame

Sometimes shame goes way back to our youth, in which incidents from our families or at school or elsewhere convinced us we are not good enough. Cruel comments or actions can last a lifetime and in our hearts, we will never will be good enough. Who are we to think we can fall in love with someone who would honor and respect us when we don't honor and respect ourselves?

Who are we to think we can build successful relationships or a successful business when we view our lives as unsuccessful and painful? Who are we to think we are someone special, when we have never accomplished very much in our careers? Who are we to think we are as good as others when we are too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, too old, too young or too ... anything else?

The answer is, you were always special but have refused to acknowledge it. Stop and take a good look at yourself, not through the eyes and of a fearful, inadequate person, but objectively looking at your accomplishments. Think of how much better this world is because you are in it, and think of the many kind and generous acts you have unselfishly done for others.

If you are a parent, think of the difference you have made in the lives of your children, children that would not have been here without you. Your presence touches the lives of so many people and if you decide to uplift them, that is truly within your power.

As for shameful acts, we have all committed them. As a result we harbor feelings of guilt and of inadequacy.

The best way to deal with that form of shame is to confront it if possible and make amends. If that is not possible, then to recognize we have learned valuable lessons from what we did and understand that this was fundamental to our growth. These are not acts we would commit again.

Learning to love is learning to be loved, and to do that starts from deep within you. You were special from the time you were born, even if there were others who didn't recognize that. Now you have the chance to not only come to grips with what was done to you, but to make others feel special so that they need not go through the heartache you have. Lift your head and know that you are loved!

Dick