Fighting With Your Mate Accomplishes Nothing

Are there things your mate does that irritate you? Whatever you do, avoid a fight because not only will your mate not change but will attack you as the discussion degenerates into mutual accusations and a petty spat.

Instead, what your mate does that irritates you can be calmly and diplomatically discussed so that he or she doesn't feel hurt or attacked by you. 

Pick your timing for this conversation carefully so that it takes place when you are both in a good mood and feeling secure in your relationship. And also pick a place where you both feel comfortable.

Then explain gently why you feel as you do and instead of being accusatory and negative, offer some constructive advice. During the conversation be humble and acknowledge a shortcoming or two that you have corrected to make your mate happier and your own life better.

As there are no perfect people and we all have our quirks and irritating habits, just remember how fortunate you are to be with the one you love and consider being more accepting of your mate's flaws.

Hypothetically, if you changed mates, after an initial courting period with your new mate in which you both worked hard to convince one another how ideal you both are, soon your mutual flaws would appear and the process with your former mate would repeat itself.

For life is a journey of personal growth and hopefully is intimately shared with a mate who rather than being judgmental and argumentative offers love, patience and forgiveness.

Dick