To be in love is to be vulnerable as you open your heart and your soul, your very being to another. If that love is not reciprocated, it is very painful and can take a long time to heal. But you will never be truly in love without becoming vulnerable for love demands intimacy and intimacy requires honesty and trust, and the very bearing of one's soul. It is a high price to pay for love but ultimately your heart will tell you is well worth paying.
Anne and I met in 1964 when she was 18 and I was nearly 19. Very quickly we began dating nearly every night and my heart soared with an excitement I had never before known as she was so beautiful a person. But after dating for a few weeks, and having so much fun together, one night she stunned me by saying goodbye. It turned out she had exclusively dated someone for 1 1/2 years, since they were in high school, and she had hoped that one day they would marry.
But now that they were in different colleges, he was seeing other young women and Anne was lonely and hurt, which had unwittingly opened the door for me. However, now that she had begun dating me, he was sorry and wanted her back. So she gave me a little present for my birthday and softly said goodbye.
My heart felt like it had shattered into a thousand pieces and it continued to ache for the next two months. But I honored her wishes and did not contact her. Then one afternoon just before Easter I was with a buddy who was going to send flowers to his girl friend. While we were at the florist, on impulse, I sent flowers to Anne with a nice note wishing her well. A week passed and I heard nothing when suddenly I saw her at the college library and decided to approach her.
Had she received the flowers? She had and loved them. She said since she and I had stopped dating, her longtime boyfriend had had a change of heart and said goodbye to her. After a moment of silence, I looked into her eyes and asked if she would like to go out with me again. Anne said yes. And we have never stopped dating for we have been married for over 46 years and have three adult sons and five grandchildren as we built a wonderful life together.
So I understand if you hesitate to open your heart to another, fearing the vulnerability could hurt you very badly. But I promise you, it is worth the potential pain for there is no other way to find the love of your life. And when you do finally find that person, the exuberance it will bring you will uplift your heart beyond anything you ever imagined and it will fulfill you with joy.
As for that long ago little present Anne gave me for my birthday, I have treasured it all these years and display it in my office. It is a blue doll about 6 inches tall, wearing a red, white and black checkered vest, a white shirt and black bow tie, and he has a cigar poking out of the left corner of his mouth. On top of his head is an over sized bright yellow hat with a white banner stating "MR. BIG -- V.I.P." And each time I see MR. BIG, I feel very special for he is symbolic of the loss and then ultimate triumph of having the love of my life.
Dick
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