Love Is An Expression Of Self-Respect

To love another is a beautiful expression of people sharing deeply of the best part of themselves. It is also understanding and accepting the shortcomings of the other, all of this requiring self-respect.

To love another without self respect is a demand of the ego, claiming emotional attachment to another. But who is offering that love, the who having been buried in an avalanche of self-doubt and often self-loathing.

If the relationship breaks up short of a marriage, this self-loathing takes such forms as nasty text messages, scratched cars and in extreme cases, assaults and even homicides, as the ego vents its anger at its perceived rejection.

But you also see this dilemma as many marriages end in divorce after a brief period of time and often in anger, and you see it in poor parenting, in which a parent is so self-centered as to be neglectful of the needs of the child and so self-loathing as to be brutal and loud in disciplining the child.

Sometimes that lack of self-respect manifests itself a misguided form of "loving" a sports team, and identifying closely with it. When the team wins, to celebrate the victory or a championship can lead to drunken brawls, for alcohol can easily release one's self-loathing.

If the team loses, it often leads to drunken brawls as well because the ego again must vent its anger. Sometimes just to be in the home stadium wearing the other team's colors leads to assaults and vial name calling because the self-loathing strikes out at others who through transference are briefly seen as causing that self-loathing.

No sports team, no child and no ego driven attachment to another should ever lead to such a terrible response. It is never justified and carries consequences with it.

By contrast, a foundation of self-respect encourages one to find another to love, and to seek out and support the self-respect, the self-esteem and the self-worth of that other person. For what is love if it is not the sincere and gentle giving of one's heart in a shared bond of trust and mutual well-being.

Dick