Unnecessary Criticism

When we become angry most of us express our anger with unnecessary criticism. In fact here is a little secret, one that may surprise you:

Virtually all criticism is unnecessary.

If we want someone to change their behavior, first we should look at ourselves for our perspective may be wrong.

But if we still think a change in someone else's behavior is the right action, then instead of criticizing them, we should encourage them.

Dale Carnegie in his classic best selling book, "How To Win Friends & Influence People," told the story of corporate president who wanted a group of men to limit their smoking to a specific area, this at a time when smoking was common nearly everywhere.

This president could have demanded they do so. Instead he collected the men, walked them to where smoking would be allowed and gave them cigars, as he briefly lit a cigar to join them.

He then thanked them for confining their smoking to this area in the future.

Instead of being critical he got his message across in a positive way and got them to change their behavior and still feel good about themselves.

The wise among us know criticism is futile, and they instead find ways to incent people to do what they would like them to do. Let us be so wise as to follow that course of action as we not only attain the results we seek but allow others to feel good about honoring our request.

Dick