Anne and I have been married for nearly 47 years and as with any relationship, we each have hot spots, spots in which the other person may easily respond in anger.
Over time, we have learned each other's hot spots and we both avoid crossing that line, for there is nothing to be gained in upsetting a loved one. Instead, if a change is to be made, start with one's self for it is often easy to see the changes one desires in the other, while ignoring one's own faults.
Becoming far more introspective of one's own faults and solving them will frequently work wonders in helping that other person, as their perceived short comings often seem to disappear or take on a far less important role.
Instead of being so critical of another, why not just love and respect them and find ways to enhance the relationship between the two of you. And with a more insightful perspective, if you still think the other person needs to change some aspect of what they do, treat it with tact and diplomacy and with kindness in your heart, so that they feel encouraged to make a change, not under attack, which will only trigger their hot spot. Be loving, understanding and forgiving and you may attain the results you seek.
Dick
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